Hey to all that still might have me on there watch....i finally have a computer 2 get on for a few mins....so yeah sry i haven't post much...i dont have acess 2 computer much but i have ben writ'n a lot more and now wit me bac in my suicidal wanna kill a few people and myself i'm sure i will be much much more....i found out that my finece (spelling?) has been cheat'n on me wit 1 of my so call'd "friend-sister" fro Mt. Dora....yeah sum friend....i fell in like wit him in the 7th grade and now its my junior yr and i have feel completely in love wit him and he knows it and i trusted him wit all i had ant this is wt he fuck'n does....shit i owed my life to him a few months bac...he got my self-esteem up, he keep'd it up, he got me out of drugs, he kept me out of cutt'n myself, he wouldn't let me do ne thing suicidal nothin and wit him i didnt want to i was the happiest i have ever been in my life...i dont get y he would say all the thing and even ask me to marry him and then go and do this shit...Nov. 10th would have been 2 months (being engaged). why do guys do all this if they dont wanna be wit the chic y not tell them...y go through all the trouble of lies, secerts, creep'n around...etc y not just tell the gurl and then go be wit whom ever...god! i wanna just die....and i have cried so much over him i have not let myself cry yet...i have had tears in my eyes since i found out and even before cuz i thought sumthin was up but i guess i was just blind'd by love not lust...love is an evil world, an evil life style...if you think its cum'n or know it is get out dont waste your time or nething....make sure you have the same views on sumthing and that e really does love you and hes not gunna play fuck'n games and break your heart.....goodbye